Wedding vs Marriage

A special person in my life is getting married in 3 days time - Saturday 27 March 2010. They are having a weekend away for the wedding and it'll be so nice to get out of the city. The construction noise around our place lately is driving me crazy - as are the repetitive weekends full of having my head in the books.
What struck me is how nervous I feel; nervous for her, nervous for him, nervous for me. It's an excited nervousness, but nervousness nevertheless. While we (and by we, I mean me) go on about how marriage holds little significance in this new world (i.e. none of your legal rights change, many people don't change their names and aren't having children and you can get divorced as quickly as you get married), the significance of a wedding however is something altogether different.

Weddings are a huge event, regardless of how we trivialise them. They are a huge effort to organise and they still hold a position of great significance in our lives. You bring together all the people you care about (and who hopefully care about you) and you declare your love for one another in a ceremony exchanging words that are heartfelt, genuine and honest for all to see and hear.

I am mindful of my thoughts on marriage, as something which has little or no significance, but there is something incredibly momentous about speaking to each other about how you feel and committing to each other in front of a whole bunch of people.

The first step in the process is the proposal - which is generally ever so private. The man, generally speaking, gets a practice run for the wedding when he asks a woman to marry him but it takes a lot of courage for many, who aren't so public with their affection (me included), to get up and say how they feel.

Similarly when it comes to speeches, friends and family stand and make speeches about the couple and this is no easy task. When writing down some thoughts to assist one of the other bridesmaids with her speech for the wedding, I wrote, re-wrote and trashed a number of drafts. What doesn’t make sense is that I’m a talker (talk, talk, talk – it’s all I do) but when it comes to getting up in front of people and saying something really meaningful, you’ve got a whole other ball game goin’ on.

Between you and I (and the bride to be who I am sure knows this already) I completely and utterly chickened out on giving a speech because if I’m feeling nervous now without having to give a speech, or without having to say any sort of vows like the bride and groom will on Saturday, can you imagine how insanely nervous I would be on Saturday if I did – out of the question - NUTS.

So, in September next year (when I get married) let’s just say if I’m not sitting down with a brown paper bag inhaling and exhaling, feeling like I’m going to burst with nervousness/anxiety, I’d be very surprised.  So… to the bride for this weekend – if you’re not nervous - kudos to you… but if you are - I’ll be there with the paper bag ready and waiting.  I’ve worked out that weddings are a big deal. It’s no wonder you and I weren’t so keen on the whole thing in the first place ;)

Elle

Lesson learned yet?

I read tonnes of blogs.  Everyday I add a few to my Google Reader and many of them include ways to de-clutter, de-stress, stay healthy, keep motivated etc.  In all honesty I don't need motivation.  I have so much going on that motivates me to get up and do it day in, day out.  What I do seem to do is get sick a lot. 

Most of you are probably thinking well of course, you work, study, gym, eat healthy and go out too.  But for me that is par for the course.  My body on the other hand is suggesting it can't be par for the course.  This week is only about 6-7 weeks since I got sick last time and to be honest it's so annoying because each time it happens i'm on the verge of a weight loss breakthrough (reaching a target weight loss point) or starting to feel good about how I look (partly due to the euqal amounts of gym routine, healthy eating and subsequent weight loss).

When I get sick I go back to eating quite a bit and get out of my gym routine.  I also sleep more and do all the right things - like find some balance (minus the exercise and super healthy diet).  I seem to get better instantly but the trouble is I want to work, study, gym, eat healthy and feel good about myself without falling off track every second month.

Is there anything other than taking some ridiculous amount of vitamins that will help me get sick less often? Open to any and all suggestions.

Elle (the one who won't learn her lesson if it doesn't suit!)

What would 16 year old you say about your life now?

It's funny how some kids dream about life as a grown up and wonder about where they'll be in 20 years.  Chantelle at Fat Mum Slim wrote a letter to her younger self. I wonder what 16 year old me would have to say about my life now?

While I'm sure my parents will tell me that as a teenager I dreamed of something that I couldn't do till I was an adult or being someone once I was an adult, I don't remember really wanting for anything particularly grown up other than convertible cars and amazing island holidays.  Those were the things I understood which were the great parts of becoming an adult. 

I still agree with teenage me - convertible cars and island holidays are great parts of becoming an adult and although I don't own a convertible car I've been in one (which totally counts by the way) and I have had a fair few island holidays. 

What 16 year old me would say about my grown up life would go something like this:

1. My eating habits: "You eat that green stinky seaweed stuff? and Oysters? RAW? GROSS!!"
2. My gym habits: "You should play more team sport or dancing instead of the treadmill - you loved that"
3. My girlfriends: "I'm so glad you kept some of your friends from high school - we are best friends forever"
4. My engagement: "ARE YOU SERIOUS? We are never getting married! What were you thinking?!"
5. And finally where I live: "You moved out of the Shire?" "NO WAY!!!".

My responses in the same order:

1. You will acquire a taste for expensive food and fine wine - trust me - it's incredible.  Say yes to everything you are asked to try (except maybe illegal substances).
2. Alone time on the treadmill or doing yoga is incredibly therapeutic in this stressful world.  Team sports require a lot of commitment and time which you have while you're 16 and not so much at 27.  But I have just signed up for a basketball team.
3. You are right - we are best friends forever and hopefully for a long time still to come.  They will provide you with a lot of comfort and sanity in the coming years so look after them and return the favour whenever you can.
4. You are in love with an amazing man who proposed in the most romantic way you haven't even dreamed of yet and you are planning a fairytale wedding like you never imagined - but it's going to be spectacular I just know it.
5. Work and study has been a huge part of your life the whole of your 20's.  You need to be in the city for convenience, you are working towards owning the apartment you live in but the bonus is that you are living in one of Sydney's best suburbs with fantastic bars and restaurants.

What would 16 year old you say about your life now?

Elle

Dear Sir/Madam... Elle has been absent from her blog because...

she has been having too much fun.  For her absence we apologise, but never for the fun.

This summer I went to the Hunter Valley for a spa retreat, got engaged at Palm Beach, my best friend visited from London and while she was here, four of us girls took a glorious break on the north coast of NSW.  I also celebrated my birthday and lapped up the last of the summer sunshine at the beach.

What I worked out this summer however was that when school is out, my blog is too.  I think my blog inspiration comes so much easier during semester.... or my procrastination does - think what you will. 

So semester is back today and two of my classes are not starting until next week (i.e. i'm easing into it).  Today is like any other new school day - getting your student ID, buying tonnes of textbooks you can barely afford (let alone carry) and hoping to god you find someone in your class who is smart, but not too smart that you feel intimidated, so you can be study buddies or even friends.

My motivation is lacking a little today but I have managed to make a start on some readings.  I also chatted to an English and Canadian guy in the grocer this morning who were very interested in the fact that it is compulsory to vote in Australia (don't ask how we got into such a serious discussion at the register).  They were perplexed about how that constitutes democracy... but as I reminded them... the little thing called a donkey vote gives every Australian the ability to do as they please - they just have to turn up!  The two of them chuckled at the idea of a 'donkey vote'.

I would go into a more ideological debate about this issue but I have a textbook to read, notes to write, a lunch to prepare and a class to get to later today.  I leave you with some glorious photos from my summer and hope you all had a great one too.

Elle