Competition

Some people would classify me in the Type A personality category; I'm a perfectionist, competitive, impatient, and a highly strung kind of person.  I definitely don't love the category, but I do fit well into the box.  If you ask my fiancée about how emotional I am he will say I am quick to react angrily and that I apply my standards to everyone else in a me-centred universe (which clearly makes it hard for people around me who don't live up to my high expectations!).  A side note - i've also heard this type of behaviour leads to heart attacks - go figure!

Being a perfectionist and competitive can lead to great success.  Many of the great leaders, thinkers and sports people in history have had these personality traits.  My undoing is in the competition.  It's where I am at my most vulnerable and insecure and I crave winning more than I should.

On Tuesday night, I was playing netball (yes I have taken up a team sport).  I can see you frowning thinking, oh god help your team mates and the people on the other side (Mum - I know you are smiling at that).  The mature part of me has learned not to be too competitive.  I embraced the game and am happy to just have fun and get the exercise at the same time every week.  But we have lost the game every week.  Every game.  LOST. 

As we began to improve each week, the competitiveness came out in me.  I updated my twitter and facebook status with our improvements, how close we had come to a win and to be honest I had a feeling we could win last week.

The courts were a little wet.  It has been raining in Sydney for pretty much 2 weeks now.  It was the end of the second half and the game was close.  I was playing goal keeper (defensive position for those of you who aren't into sport).  With not long in the game to go, I lunged forward for an intercept and in what felt like slow motion (that I couldn't do anything about) my right ankle rolled 180 degrees and I fell with a huge thud on the ashpalt.  I already knew it wasn't good.  The pain shot through my foot like fire.  I took in deep breaths, sucking the air down and all I could think about was the fact that we had come so close to winning the game and I had just ruined our chances!  I ribbed my bib off and handed it to the girls and told them to go on playing while I lay beside the court with a frozen water bottle on my ankle feeling sorry for myself.

The whistle blew not long after my injury and the girls came over.  Much to my surprise... WE HAD WON and instantly the pain disappeared!! Well.... not really... but for a moment there I swear it did!  It was all worth it!  I think I was more excited than everyone else. 

After less than half a week on crutches, it wasn't worth it.  I've got to stop with the competitive behaviour... it never seems to do me any good.  Damn you A type personality.

I know I know... it's not the personality type - it's just me.  I'll work it out eventually... maybe.

ps.  I've ordered some gumboots for those of you who were interested.  Stay tuned for pics when they arrive.

Elle